The Clap Killed God

Internet

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:13:49 GMT

Well I'm back! Go internet and finding its way back to me. I think I'll start fresh with a brand new post sometime soon. It's been a long time but Live Journal I'm back!

woot

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 05:24:09 GMT

I got my x mas wish. I got myself some new payyyness!!!! yay

Also lots of make up and Eris had a blast.

It's funny how all you need is a new boyfriend to make life so much nicer.

music Part 1

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:26:52 GMT

People often ask me what kind of music I like so I thought I would post a video Journal about it.

So here is the videos of the music that I love and inspires me.

so I hope you all enjoy.

23

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:56:28 GMT

"I'll be waving my hand watching you droned, quiet or load." Our Lady Peace

I turned 23 on the 12th. I expected to feel old. I expected to think about the future. I thought i would feel the same as I always have, but I don't. I feel different. I am feeling something I have never felt before. Even though I feel sad and unloved I feel powerful. And this is so strange. To feel worthless and powerful at the same time. I know who I could be if I worked to become that person. I know what would happen if I gave up all together and right now I'm stuck in the middle somewhere.

you know who you are

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:28:45 GMT

Smashing Pumpkins

"To Sheila"

Twilight fades
Through blistered Avalon
The sky's cruel torch
On aching autobahn
Into the uncertain divine
We scream into the last divide

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as i feel
You make me real

Sheila rides on crashing nightingale
Intake eyes leave passing vapor trails
With blushing brilliance alive
Because it's time to arrive

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as i feel
You make me real

Lately I just can't seem to believe
Discard my friends to change the scenery
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
But now it's just a matter of grace

A summer storm graces all of me
Highway warm sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
And take you home into the night

You make me real
Lately I just can't seem to believe
You make me real
Discard my friends to change the scenery
Strong as i feel
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
You make me real
But now it's just a matter of grace

sigh

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 09:11:03 GMT

so next month is the end of this chapter in my life. I will be 23 on the 12th of November. Alot has happened this year alot has happened this month. I ended 2 relationships and started a new one all in one month. I'm still vary confused with the new one. I have been friends with this person for along time and there has always been feeling but the doors stayed close for 5 years. Now finally there is an open door I have one foot in and foot out. But I hate my brine and the things it makes me think and do. I don't want this friendship to be destroyed but i want more from it. So do we walk though the door hand n hand or do we run away before it gets to complected?

Lydia and I

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 22:53:04 GMT

Some pics of me and my new baby.

hahahahahahahaha

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:44:57 GMT

You must think so little of me. To have thought I was that stupid! But you have always thought that haven't you. War you talk about war you have no idea. The fun has just began.

Thoughts about you make my blood run cold. You haven't begun to know hate.

But you will.

I'll show you.

****************************

Sorry moment of anger had to release it.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 21:57:52 GMT

Elliott brought me a kitten yesterday I love her so much. I named her Chlamydia but call her Lydia for short. She slept with all night and wont leave my side while eris is asleep. when she is awake Lydia hides because shes afraid of her. lol I will post pics as soon as i get new bats for my cam.

for now here are the new pics of Elliott

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Ah fall

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 06:11:14 GMT

This is the best time of year and I still feel like crap. I need to start working on my Halloween costume and I still haven't decided what I want to be yet. Eris is going to be a kittie because she loves em so much. Fuck I have to make that one too errrr. I need to organize a pumpkin carving and Halloween decorating night, but I still need to buy the stuff for that. So much to do so little time.

*****************************

In other news I got a huge cow hart from the food bank today. Apparently someone had dropped it off along with a some livers. I was happy to take the hart and they were happy to get rid of it. Can you say photo opp? Gawd I wish Jennee were here to enjoy this art experiment with me. *sigh* After we are done with the pics I am going to put it in a big jar. Apparently rubbing alcohol will preserve it?

******************

I have put some black back into my hair to darken before the winter. And I finished an old pic of Elliott.

not a good pic but you get the idea

more pics of Elliott to come

I hopping to get a new sewing meashen next weekend so i will be busy working on costumes and new cloths for the winter. Hopefully it will help to take my mind off the endless amount of stress plaguing my life.

Control by Poe

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 06:49:36 GMT

Don't you mess
With a little girl's dream
'Cause she's liable to grow up
Mean

Surprise you to find that I'm laughing?
You thought that you'd find me in tears.
You thought I'd be crawling
The walls like a tiny mosquito
And trembling in fear.

Well, you may be king for the moment
But I am queen understand
And I've got your pawns and your bishops and
castles
All in the palm of my hand.

Chorus...
While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole
in me.

Don't you mess
With a little girl's dream
'Cause she's liable to grow up
Mean

I am beginning to feel good
Watching you squirm in your shoes
A small bead of sweat on your brow
And a growl in your belly
Your scared to let through
You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole.

-= Chorus =-

I was gaining control
I have taken control

Come a little bit closer...
Let me look at you
I gave you the benefit of doubt, it's true
But keep in mind my darling
Not every saint is a fool

ya so I just thought I would share because this song is helping me though the night with out you know who...

an afternoon dowtown

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 03:38:55 GMT

jon and i went down town on a mission to get tickets for Death Fest and of cores we couldn't pass up the chance to take some photo's. So underthe cut you will find lots of pics from our downtown day aswell as some of the show. my neck still hurts from that. Metal hurts!!!
Jon broke his hand now thats a good a show.

there gos my boob

i love the b&w setting on my camera

this band was fucking amazing!!!! girl metal vocalist is where it's at

dying fetus

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jon and i went down town on a mission to get tickets for Death Fest and of cores we couldn't pass up the chance to take some photo's. So underthe cut you will find lots of pics from our downtown day aswell as some of the show. my neck still hurts from that. Metal hurts!!!
Jon broke his hand now thats a good a show.

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there gos my boob

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i love the b&w setting on my camera

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this band was fucking amazing!!!! girl metal vocalist is where it's at

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dying fetus

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me after the show

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Dave after the show

and one more just because they were so good
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Metal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhh

Tue, 29 May 2007 04:19:24 GMT

all i can feel is hunger pains! I literary have no food and no money! I have often said i wished i was rich, but at this point i just wish i had enuf money to never go hungry again! I just have to get thought tomorrow and then i get my welfare cheque and i'll be able to eat.

poo

Sat, 12 May 2007 04:54:35 GMT

so I have to go in for surgery on Monday to have my cyst removed. That should be fun! Aleast then it will be gone and I wont be in constant pain anymore. I made it out for a walk today with Jon and eris. We walked along the river and feed some ducks and gees. One of the gees was very greedy and kept hissing at us for not feeding it fast enuf. Ungrateful little bastard! Anyhow so we started walking home and found some friendly ducks and goose. Eris was quite excited and tried to crawl over to them man she moves fast. She's gonna go from crawling to running in no time.

I tolk some photo's the other day to cheer myself and up. I thought even if I have a huge lump on my crouch at least my face is pretty.

Betty

what next?

Tue, 08 May 2007 06:31:16 GMT

I have a Bartholin Cyst Je I just love my life soooo fucking much. If you interested in knowing what a Bartholin Cyst is go to this link http://www.valleyhealth.com/Health_Library/mayo_catlinks.asp?navid=4&sp=702

make up and my new summer hat

Wed, 02 May 2007 21:35:14 GMT

pics under the cut

wtf

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 06:31:27 GMT

ok everybody has to watch this NOW!!!! I command you...

http://www.endofworld.net/

Things that make me happy

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:38:03 GMT

Here is a photo log of the things in my life that keep me from killing myself.

funny bathroom photos with jon and jen WE FUCKING ROCK!!!!!

Pretending to know how to play pool out of boredom and for the sake of pictures!

making clothing

my hair

Eris

when Daves around

make up make up make up

My boobs

alright this sounds bad but my stuff i love my stuff

pottie pics

Beer

Modleing and going out when I can

and I just love this one sooooo much

Betty

FUCK RIGHT OFF

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:13:27 GMT

OMG I'm soooooooo sick. My brother is coming in from Toronto today for his birthday which is on Tuesday. And I'm fucking sick as a dog. Just my luck really. My face is swollen, my stumic is all truny, and my thort is sore. Fuck you Dave for getting me sick!!! I am saposed to go tonight Saturday night and Sunday night I have no idea how I can manage that. All I want to do is sleep. At least eris is feeling better. She got sick first, but is doing fine now still sleeping a bit too much. I'm so proud she can crawl now ant stand with help. She's so strong and smart and cute awww I love my little girl.

Betty

for Robin

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 12:47:22 GMT

Photo's of the patches I made. I fucked up on some cause I forgot to reverse the image.

and look Eris can pull herself up to stand now

printers rock

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:57:50 GMT

I'm so happy to finally have a printer. I got transfer paper and made so many amazing patches. oh the stuff I can make now !!!!

tired

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 03:27:22 GMT

I spent most of day running around looking for a camera and like and hour grocery shopping. I found one on sale for $99 it's only a 5.0 but thats a big steep up from my 3.2. I also got some much needed skate shoes my old ones are falling apart badly. However I have had them for like 2 years and rode a bike with no brakes so that did alot of ware and tare. There a bit big I'm a size 6 in mens and there a 7 but they are comfie and there just to ware to the gym and biking. Also I am hopping to take jujitsu this summer so I can really get back into shape, but that will be bare foot. Anyhow that was my day I can't wait til tomorrow night. Who's gonna join me at the dirty Dom?

Betty

$$$$$ is so fun

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:57:50 GMT

So I got my back pay from the childes tax credit this week. I got so many much need things this week just what I needed to cheer me up after the fight I got into with he who should remain nameless last weekend. The new make-up store in the mall INGLOT is fuck amazing!!!! I got a palate of 16 shit your paints colors of eye shadow for $88. Refills are only 10 and there price per eye shadow if you don't get the palate is $15 so I save alot getting the palate. I spent way too much on the nail polish but it's like this purpleish black that matches my hair so well so I had to I should have gotten the lipstick too. Maybe I'll go back. Trivium had my hair color in stock thank you Satan!!! Deep purple is so hard to find I stocked up with 3 bottles. Went to walmart and got lots of new fabric for the patterns I resistantly got off eBay. Now if I could just find out how to use my sowing maeshen I'll be really happy. Oh Jennee why will you never come over and show me?
Also I got the things a bought from Ugly today and she added in some extra gifts. I love gifts!!! I will have to make her a thank you card. Although she must get so much "fan art" she prolly doesn't what to do with it. However it is the thought that counts.
I found a bunch of old Disney movies for Eris as well, Pete Dragon !!!!, the black cauldron !!!!!, and the sword in the stone. New corsets from eBay and some more sowing things. It's been a good week! Hopefully the weekend is good too. I am going to the Dom hope to see all you fellow Dom goers there.

Betty

P.S. I also found out that in the fall when start school at the Ottawa School Of Beauty for Artistic Mack-up and hair desine I will get a 40 % discount at most high end make up places! I can't fucking wait for that. Holy shit its 1:57!!! I got to hit the hay.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 01:36:12 GMT

I fucking hate black spots in my memories. I never drinking that much ever again.

cawinsedink

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:43:17 GMT

lol it's funny I'm playing jack off jill and the jack off jill pin I ordered from ebay came in the mail. Once again it's strange how things from the UK come before things from the US. Meh whatever now I finally have a jack off jill pin. Woot!!!

Betty