Well I'm back! Go internet and finding its way back to me. I think I'll start fresh with a brand new post sometime soon. It's been a long time but Live Journal I'm back!

mood: amused music: Tool

I got my x mas wish. I got myself some new payyyness!!!! yay

Also lots of make up and Eris had a blast.

It's funny how all you need is a new boyfriend to make life so much nicer.

mood: cheerful

People often ask me what kind of music I like so I thought I would post a video Journal about it.

So here is the videos of the music that I love and inspires me.



( more )

mood: amused

"I'll be waving my hand watching you droned, quiet or load." Our Lady Peace

I turned 23 on the 12th. I expected to feel old. I expected to think about the future. I thought i would feel the same as I always have, but I don't. I feel different. I am feeling something I have never felt before. Even though I feel sad and unloved I feel powerful. And this is so strange. To feel worthless and powerful at the same time. I know who I could be if I worked to become that person. I know what would happen if I gave up all together and right now I'm stuck in the middle somewhere.

mood: confused

Smashing Pumpkins

"To Sheila"

Twilight fades
Through blistered Avalon
The sky's cruel torch
On aching autobahn
Into the uncertain divine
We scream into the last divide

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as i feel
You make me real

Sheila rides on crashing nightingale
Intake eyes leave passing vapor trails
With blushing brilliance alive
Because it's time to arrive

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as i feel
You make me real

Lately I just can't seem to believe
Discard my friends to change the scenery
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
But now it's just a matter of grace

A summer storm graces all of me
Highway warm sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
And take you home into the night

You make me real
Lately I just can't seem to believe
You make me real
Discard my friends to change the scenery
Strong as i feel
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
You make me real
But now it's just a matter of grace

mood: calm

so next month is the end of this chapter in my life. I will be 23 on the 12th of November. Alot has happened this year alot has happened this month. I ended 2 relationships and started a new one all in one month. I'm still vary confused with the new one. I have been friends with this person for along time and there has always been feeling but the doors stayed close for 5 years. Now finally there is an open door I have one foot in and foot out. But I hate my brine and the things it makes me think and do. I don't want this friendship to be destroyed but i want more from it. So do we walk though the door hand n hand or do we run away before it gets to complected?

mood: confused music: voices in my head

Some pics of me and my new baby.

( Read more... )

mood: cold

You must think so little of me. To have thought I was that stupid! But you have always thought that haven't you. War you talk about war you have no idea. The fun has just began.

Thoughts about you make my blood run cold. You haven't begun to know hate.

But you will.

I'll show you.

****************************

Sorry moment of anger had to release it.

mood: pechie music: the voices in my head

Elliott brought me a kitten yesterday I love her so much. I named her Chlamydia but call her Lydia for short. She slept with all night and wont leave my side while eris is asleep. when she is awake Lydia hides because shes afraid of her. lol I will post pics as soon as i get new bats for my cam.

for now here are the new pics of Elliott

( Read more... )

mood: chipper music: mat good - time bomb

This is the best time of year and I still feel like crap. I need to start working on my Halloween costume and I still haven't decided what I want to be yet. Eris is going to be a kittie because she loves em so much. Fuck I have to make that one too errrr. I need to organize a pumpkin carving and Halloween decorating night, but I still need to buy the stuff for that. So much to do so little time.


*****************************

In other news I got a huge cow hart from the food bank today. Apparently someone had dropped it off along with a some livers. I was happy to take the hart and they were happy to get rid of it. Can you say photo opp? Gawd I wish Jennee were here to enjoy this art experiment with me. *sigh* After we are done with the pics I am going to put it in a big jar. Apparently rubbing alcohol will preserve it?

******************

I have put some black back into my hair to darken before the winter. And I finished an old pic of Elliott.

( Read more... )

mood: artistic

all i can feel is hunger pains! I literary have no food and no money! I have often said i wished i was rich, but at this point i just wish i had enuf money to never go hungry again! I just have to get thought tomorrow and then i get my welfare cheque and i'll be able to eat.

mood: starving

I have a Bartholin Cyst Je I just love my life soooo fucking much. If you interested in knowing what a Bartholin Cyst is go to this link http://www.valleyhealth.com/Health_Library/mayo_catlinks.asp?navid=4&sp=702

mood: distressed music: CCR - Commotion

ok everybody has to watch this NOW!!!! I command you...

http://www.endofworld.net/

mood: amused

Here is a photo log of the things in my life that keep me from killing myself.

(  make with the clicky  )

mood: sad music: Garbage